It’s day two of the year that is new and I am oscillating between giddy optimism and terrified nervousness. January places so much pressure on each of us to be more than we were the year before, that you can’t help but feel the tension EVERYWHERE. Like this outfit. I loved this dress it when I styled it, but now I’m second guessing everything. Why did I put it with a coat no one can buy anymore? Berets are overplayed. Those earrings are like red snow man. Those flats again! I can do better. Why didn’t I do better?
I feel it so much with blogging. This is a good look, but when you’re bombarded with everyone’s best of lists from 2017 and their extra invested new content for 2018, it’s hard to just appreciate…anything really. I feel plagued with constant evaluation. Am I doing enough new? Did I change my game enough? The a number has changed in the way I write the year in date and now I feel like EVERYTHING MUST BE BETTER. Bigger. Louder!!! Bolder!!!! But, what happens when it’s not. 
In fact, I very well might be less today then I was a week a go. What now? Have I failed 2018? Do I have to return to 2017 because I am being held back in the middle school of life? I think I echo many people’s sentiments when I say- Oh god please don’t make me redo that year. 
So I stopped. I took a deep breath. I let it all go. The reality is growth and development take time and there is no magical date where if I complete complex puzzle of goal setting mixed with alcohol all my problems sort themselves out. I did not fail 2017. I have not already failed 2018. Change isn’t just for New Years. Change is for when you’re ready. 
I share this today to remind you that if you are feeling overwhelmed right now and if you feel like a failure, you’re not alone. It’s hard in a sea of messages reminding us of the things we need to fix to not feel overwhelmed. It is normal at this time of year. it will pass. And don’t worry; the opportunity to do and be better will always be there regardless of the date. Change when you are ready. Grow when you can. 
Wow thank you for sharing this because it’s exactly what I’m going through mentally especially being surrounded by so many people discussing their goals and changes and weight loss plans… and I’m just there wondering how I’m going to make it through tomorrow let alone change a million things about my life… anywho love you and your content is honest, encouraging, funny, reflecting, and inspirational sometimes all at once haha. Keep doing you because you truly bring smiles and joy to so many people, including myself. ❤️
I don’t know if this will get seen but I feel like I should say something. I followed you on YouTube on a whim awhile back. I thought: Hey, she is cute and wears the same size as me, I’ll check her out. Since then, I’ve felt so much better about myself. Yes I still have shit days, but I always will. I’ve been battling a mental disorder since I was 8 (diagnosed at 17, am now 39). I now follow your Instagram as well and will be following this too. I feel like we are friends even if we have never talked. Sorry if that is creepy! I just love your way of thinking. Thank you, for being you.
Hey ! Happy new year ! I love your new design but it would have been great to add a like button. Each time I like an article of your blog I can’t say it to you without leaving a comment and most of the time I have nothing to say lol
It would be so cool to meet you the next time you come to Paris. I’m a girl, it’s innocent and friendly lol
I’ll add one right now. It’s still very very much a work in progress. It will get there. I promise 🙂
Thank you 😊
Hm! Well, I totally get your feelings, but I must tell you that this outfit may well be my absolute favorite I’ve seen on you! I’m not totally on top of fashion but love what I love, and I still love berets, and I love that pattern mixing and the palette is gorgeous! Keep following your own advice, i.e. DO YOU! I don’t care that I might not be able to buy the coat you’re wearing; it gives me some ideas, though, and to me that is what matters, you know?
Chin up and no bailing on 2018 just yet, lady! 🙂
Sometimes we are the last person to give ourselves a break. We can extend that space and kindness to anyone BUT ourselves. Don’t misunderstand me – I don’t think these outfit choices are something you need to give yourself a break over whatsoever. They are fantastic. As a newer subscriber (this is my first visit to your blog),I’ve never seen these pieces before! Perspective, perspective, perspective!
First time viewing you biog. I love you videos. Love your style. Wish I was confident enough to try new things. I hate shopping. Things don’t ever seem to look good on me. Keep showing me and others what’s out there for us plus sized girls.
1. I don’t follow fashion influencers or runway style, but I do utilize my eyes every day to view the world in which I live and I rarely, if ever, see anyone wearing a beret. I am empathically pro beret and love it when I see you don one.
2. Your clothing choices are bold and cheerful and an inspiration to others. I, like many, adore your sense of style and love finding the items you wear available for sale, but you are not beholden to us nor are you letting us down when you wear things we can’t find anymore. That’s how the clothing industry works, new things replace the old, and you’re not to blame for liking or wearing something no longer available. You would be doing us, and yourself, a disservice by changing what you wear based on the fickle tastes of the capitalist fashion industry; you would be stifling your immense creativity and depriving your friends and followers of your amazing sense of style.
3. I’m not sure who you’re comparing yourself to when you expect to not rewear your shoes or clothes, but stop it! It’s bad for your wallet and, more importantly, bad for your psyche. Real people wear things multiple times and in multiple ways. Finding different ways to wear the same thing is a strength not a weakness! Fashion influencers, like yourself, must feel pressure to always be on the cutting edge and wearing new pieces, which I totally get. But most people don’t have cost cutting ways of acquiring new clothes, like sponsorships, which makes the most loving and radical thing you can do for us showing how versatile clothing can be. No one wins (save the clothing companies) when we all feel inadequate because we don’t have an ever changing wardrobe.
So get out there, strut your stuff, and wear whatever you want to! You’re a trailblazer and an inspiration to more people than you can possibly know. You might be on a positive and challenging journey to love and accept yourself (which many of us are) but you have a bunch of people out there, lots of them unknown to you, who already accept and admire you. I bet you, for every asshole troll out there, you have 20 people silently supporting you and cheering you on. I hope that next time you have these nagging doubts and self criticisms, you can find comfort in all the people who find it far easier to adore you than it might be for you to adore yourself. Sending good thoughts your way <3