Bucket Item: Learning How to Pole Dance

Plus size fitness blog plus size pole dancing 2So when I made my life list eons ago I snuck on there something I thought would finally give me the va va voom I was missing. Pole dancing. See what I didn’t know then, but definitely know now, is that sexiness isn’t a dance move. It’s confidence in who you are and trust in your body to express how you are feeling. So if you’re feeling like a sex cat in heat, you’re body is going to radiate sexy like it’s holding a neon sign that says “this girl needs to man to worship her.”

Plus size fitness blog plus size pole dancingI put these images in black because they feel like they should be. I mean when I think of sexy french burlesque I think of black and white and corsets. Sister child has a straight policy against underwear posts- that’s a really long and possibly really heated debate I shall spare you from today- so no corsets for you. However black and white filter? I got this.

Pole Dancing was surprisingly plus size friendly. I didn’t feel like I was exhausted after class and I feel I learned some new erm * cough cough* useful moves for my non-existent life partner to enjoy. I can now crawl like a sexy tiger, go down a fire man’s pole like I’m J LO pre-record deal, and have learned how to close out a routine like a fine as freak fantasy female¬† and most importantly “collect my money.” You know with this booty, the money collection part would likely take forever.¬† I was surprised that as I finished that the others in class could resist the urge to shower me generously with paper. Holler for a dollar.

Plus size fitness blog plus size pole dancing 3I took my pole dancing class at Brass Ovaries, pretty much the best name for anything woman centered ever. Also their mascot is a unicorn: double score. And for the triple layup- they’re saying is “Glittter, Guts, Glory.” In short, I was meant to move my body like a snake in this studio. IT WAS DESTINY. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.

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