Some Hearts Are Made to Be Broken

For 5 years now, 3 years longer than Glitter and Lazers has existed, I have done a sad photoshoot for Valentines Day. The first one started as a joke. My friend Mary and I were bored on V-day, did some terrible make up, went to brunch with said sad girl make up and found ourselves doing an impromptu photoshoot. This  ultimately devolved into, who could look the saddest on camera. It was legitimately a good time.

The next time Valentine’s day rolled around, Mary wasn’t single, but I was. So, I did the shoot again, this time by myself.

Now it was a tradition, and I couldn’t be stopped. I took this photo in 2016.

In 2017, I added Data into the mix, because for some reason his presence just made it even better. He understands me, as he too is single.

For this years shoot, I wanted to do something different. Gone were the past ways of just getting really tanked in a funny t-shirt in front of a camera, 2018 needed a new vibe. The world needed an editorial version of the Sad Valentin’s tradition.

Once I saw this heart shaped piñata online I knew what direction this needed to take. A lover scorned. A baseball bat. Excessive make up. Heels. I was the ex-girlfriend your momma warned you about. I am sad and I am dangerous.

Trashing a piñata in public is more fun then I thought it would be. I especially enjoyed the sassy man who stopped and cheered me on. It seems the city of smog has more than one scorned lover on it’s streets.

It was also super cathartic. Hitting something with a giant stick is actually really fun. Making loud destructive noises in public, also fun.

I’m not bitter about Valentine’s Day. I just feel like we get so much relationship bliss thrown in our faces this time of year, I wanted to do something to represent the others- those of who are sick of being told we’ll find someone or that we’ll get ’em next year. The crowd thats sick of texts from exes and  2 for 1 specials. Those of us who are single and don’t need to be reminded of it like it some type of curse.

A Modern Take on Valentine’s Day

I remember very clearly the day I became obsessed with the colors red + pink together. My tale isn’t one of Valentine’s day glory, but rather vignette into my own education in color. I was around 5 or 6 at a church activity. We were cutting shapes out of fabric to decorate white t-shirts. I’d fallen in love with this bright strawberry print and I was meticulously cutting out each individual berry to glue onto my soon to be very fashionable tee. Even as a child, I was type A. My strawberries were perfect. Once glued into place, the next step was to trace them in puffy paint to help them stay in place.

I remember grabbing a red puffy paint to begin my perfect outline only to realize I had mistakenly selected a bright pink shade. I was devastated. I cried big emotional tears at my failure. Red didn’t go with pink. It was wrong. It was different. My shirt was ruined. Now I don’t have a lot of good memories of my mother as she was sick so much of my life, but what she did next will always stick with me. She stopped, looked me right in the eyes and said,

“When something you have no control of in your life is different from the norm you have two choices: You can be upset and fight it or you can embrace it and help everyone see how beautiful it is.” 

We went back to that t-shirt and outlined each red berry in that bright pink. We added little pink dots to each of the fabric fruits. In the end, I loved that t-shirt so much more than I ever could imagine. What I learned from that moment is that we have opportunities every day to choose how to view our experiences. How often do we cry and lament because they feel weird instead of seeing them just as they really are- pretty darn awesome.

Pink Strawberry Fashion Magic

This modern take on that childhood learning is perhaps one of my favorite I’ve ever put together. I’ve literally been showing it to strangers all week, because I’m proud of it. It’s not just super cool looking, but it’s an ode to my own journey. The dress I snagged off amazon. I adore it’s asymmetrical neckline and feel it gives a nice modern swagger to the look. The oversized sweater is from H&M and is one of my favorite pieces I’ve purchased in the last 6 months. I’ve closed the sweater with a red leather tassel belt- an oldie but still goody- from Lane Bryant. The flats are my favorite neutral shoes found at Old Navy.

I embraced the pink and red magic in my eye shadow as well. I created a half circle of bold bubble gum pink using Sugar Pills Dollipop shadow on each eye lid. I then used Nyx Vivid Brights in Fire to line my lids and water line. Using Colour Pops Creme Gel Liner in Exit  I added white accents under the water line and at the brow.  I kept my face completely neutral otherwise and used Winky Luxes Lip Velour Matte Lipstick  in Ghosting with a light pink slightly creamy gloss on top to dull the sparkle just a smidge.

Red And Pink Essentials:

I’ve rounded up some of my red and items that are perfect for Valentine’s Day or just for any day really. Love is love and should be celebrated always.

I earn affiliate commissions on some of these links that help support my creation process. 

The Tradition Continues: Sad Valentine’s 2017

The Tradition Continues: Sad Valentine’s 2017

I have one Valentine’s Day tradition, and to be honest it might be my favorite holiday tradition of all time. Yes, this is odd given I am not a 24 hours de amor mega fan, but bear with me. See every year the night before Valentine’s Day, I drink. I drink a lot. I also cake my face in make up, tease my hair and then proceed to writhe like an animal on my bed and wipe at my face with reckless abandon until I look like the queen of hot mess- and the ultimate example of a love gone wrong victim. I then proceed to photograph myself, usually while consuming more libations, and fake crying. Not, no crying. Wailing. Screeching. Moaning. All over my lack of love. The results are the best and saddest Valentine’s photos you’ll see this year.

(here’s an example of last year’s shoot)

My Anti Valentine’s Day Look

My Anti Valentine’s Day Look

People love Valentines Day, all dem hearts and chocolate and fancy wine and roses and sexy sexy underwear. Me, I love to HATE Valentine’s Day. I just think the whole thing is stupid, lame-o, sad pants, annoyed emoji face, tired. This may be because I am against holidays that use love to sell us stuff we don’t need or probably more accurately because I am soulless swarthy spinster with no gilded lover in sight. And don’t even get me start on those frivolous single awareness day parties. I don’t need a party to celebrate the fact I am single. I do that Every. Single. Damn. Day. Thank you very much. Except when I do my taxes, because there have been a few years I  have really considered getting hitched for a cheeky little tax break.

So Instead of getting all gushy gushy about the love in the air, I refuse to be caught in cupid’s chokehold. Instead I present you with my anti-Valentine’s Day outfit. Because I ain’t got not time for love right now. Move aside, boss lady coming through. This pale pink button down embroidered with “no time for love” is from Asos and is also available in straight sizes for you non-plus sized ladies. The black tank dress is a closet basic I scored at Old Navy. I paired the look with my comfy tevas (a modern take on the every day flip flop), an old belt from the back of my closet, and a metallic convertible clutch/shoulder bag I picked up on clearance at Coach.

OOTD: Getting All Romantic Up in Here

OOTD: Getting All Romantic Up in Here

Its almost that time of year again where couples profess their love and I take a lonely drunk picture of myself to celebrate that I am yet again single on Valentines Day. While the alcoho-chocolate bomb holiday is still a few weeks away I can’t help but find my eyes distracted by all the cute red amore themed garb. So I decided to just bite the bullet get all cute and share my take on a little sweet hearts day number. It’s red, it’s floral , and damn it- there are bows. Multiple bows. More than one! I curled my hair for this; I am clearly giving it my all.

Plus size valentines day look 4

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Plus size valentines day look 5

Plus size valentines day look 1

Plus size valentines day look 3

Bow Back Top: Forever 21

Floral Jean: Code Bleu Denim

Flats: Kate Spade: No Longer available, but I like this pair from the same line

Jewelry: A random smattering of stuff aquired during my travels