The Basics of Body Positivity

The Basics of Body Positivity

Recently I’ve seen a lot a of discussion about what is and is not “body positive.” I’ve done a lot of research and it seems there are a lot of articles pointing out what is and is not body positive, but very few attempting to explain the movement, why it’s important and what being body positive means. In order to help facilitate debate, educate the masses and also kind of sort out my own thoughts on the subject, I thought I’d take my own stab at it. This is 100% world according to Glitter and if you disagree, let’s talk about it. Because it’s through discussion, movements get solidified and organized.

What is Body Positivity?

For me body positivity is the belief that every individual has the right to exist, in whatever body they have today, tomorrow and in the future without pressure to attain an “acceptable body” or rejection from society if they don’t.  In this perspective regardless of race, gender, size, disabilities, health, hair growth and whatever other variant you throw into the mix, a person’s worth and dignity is equal. They deserve the same rights. The same opportunities. The same access to knowledge and experiences. They also deserve the same representation in media and leadership.

What About Self Love?

You’ll note in my definition there is nothing about self-love, because to me body positivity has nothing to do with how much you love your body. Often times people use the phrase “I’m body positive” in exchange for ” I love myself”.  But loving your body- even if it isn’t the societal norm- isn’t what body positivity is about. Your own self-love does nothing to increase the access to basic rights for people with marginalized bodies.  Sure, the body positivity movement might have helped you find self-love, but they aren’t the same thing.

An important point to also acknowledge is that we often learn to love ourselves, but do not learn to accept and appreciate others.  If you love yourself and judge someone else’s body, that is counter to the culture body positivity is trying to create. In line with this thinking, if you try to create any type of boundaries on which bodies deserve respect (the classic, ” I’m all for body positivity, but…” phrasing) you are actually hurting someone’s ability to exist freely in their body. In this regard, it’s totally possible to have self-love and not be body positive. They are decidedly different things.

What is Diet Culture?

Right now, there is a huge effort to re-purpose the political side of body positivity and use it sell things, primarily to women. You’ll often see body positive bloggers talk about “diet culture” or the idea that people are taught they need to constantly be trying to achieve the idealized body type.  Now if you choose to go on a diet based on your own goals and ambitions or health- that has nothing to do with body positivity. It simply means you’ve made a decision to change your body and that’s really no one else’s business. However, if you write a post about how to lose “13 pound in 30 days” to be your “sexiest self” that is anti- body positive. Why? Because you’ve associated a change in your body (losing 13 pounds) with having a body this more accepted by the community (sexiest self).

Why is Representation Important?

Seeing different bodies and elevating images of different bodies is important because it creates a new norm.  There was an experiment on racism- If you held up a flat picture of an unknown black man in front of a white person, the sections of his brain committed to anger and fear would fire. However, if you normalized the black man by giving him thoughts and feelings or showing him performing an everyday activity, the white brain would  then show significantly less firing in these regions and expanded action in parts of the brain used for comprehension and compassion. The study found that one of the ways to decrease racism to was to integrate and educate different races about each other. Ignorance and avoidance were keys reasons for unnecessary anger.

Representation in the body positive movement is needed in the same way. If we can show all sorts of bodies doing all sorts of things to the world, the more comfortable and less fearful the general public will become of them.   The opposite is also true, the less we see different body types, the scarier they become.

 

 

 

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Body Confidence and Bikini Truths

Body Confidence and Bikini Truths

When I looked at this photo all I could see was how freaking powerful it was.  I was a neon on Phoenix conquering the seas and righteously ruling over the Carnival cruise’s adult bar/pool combo. It was poetically graceful,  fiercely real and undeniably beautiful.  I couldn’t help to want to share this magic with the internet. And so I did. I shared it on my instagram and facebook with the love and words that this image reminded me of. It was a special post and I was proud of it.

Was I Being Shamed?


It was only a few minutes before comments and private messages started to flow in regarding the women in the pool to the right of me. She was holding her iphone.  Assumptions were made that she was taking a picture to shame me. She was called spiteful and jealous. The digital world had created a back story for a women who’s actions and intentions they could not confirm from just a single picture. Why had people so quickly gone looking for the bad in the image? I hadn’t even noticed her in the pool when I reviewed the shot because naturally I was too blinded by my own awesome.

The Surprising Truth


Upon further analysis, I realized that this wasn’t just any pool partier with her phone in hand. This was a woman, who during the cruise, had gone out of her way to come and said hello to me. She thanked me for being bold, brave and frankly not giving a damn. She said I inspired her to be comfortable in public as she was.  If this woman  had even been taking my picture (she could have very well  just been reading her texts) it was very unlikely she was doing it to shame me.

We See What We Want To See

I share this example today because I think it’s important to note how much our own self perceptions and hang ups can get manifested onto others. If you go looking for shaming and negativity you will find it in buckets- even if you have to create it on your own. Sure, some people are cruel heartless beasts. They will mock you and maybe even snap a sneaky picture to try and embarrass you. However, the majority of the time, people aren’t out to get us. They don’t care what size we wear, what color our hair is or how pretty we are.

Choose To See The Good

Often the cruel world we perceive is all around us is created in part by our own insecurities. It’s easy to see and hear what we are expecting others to think of us. Don’t let those mental perceptions taint your reality and happiness.   Self love comes acknowledging you are worthy and capable of receiving love from yourself and from the world around you.  So next time you have the suspicion someone is talking negatively behind your back or discretely mocking you, stop yourself and think- ” do I really know this? Or am I  allowing my own personal discomfort or previous experiences to be manifest on a stranger?” Use these moments to acknowledge your feelings, analyze where they come from, and grow stronger from them. The world is so much more beautiful when you stop looking for the ugly and start acknowledging the good.

The Desire to Be Better

The Desire to Be Better

plus-size-fashion-blog-how-to-wear-a-patterned-coat-3The votes are tallied and boxes checked and I can’t help but feel disappointment. It’s not the outcome I hoped for. I am not confident in our countries direction with this new leadership. I am nervous.  But today I remind myself that every cloud has a silver lining. I don’t  think the US has been this emotionally involved in an election in a long time. Voter turn our was up nearly 5% with highly contested counties reporting voter turn out at over 70%.  So regardless of who has won, it feels like America’s citizens are starting to care.  We so long have been apathetic to it all and all I can hope is that in four years that renewed interest turns into citizens demanding more from their candidates. Better behavior. Better plans. Better thought. But first we have to be better. And the care and passion many voters have had this election season, shows that we can and hopefully will be better. So while all this is overwhelming and for some deeply disappointing, I refuse to buy into the end of the world philosophy that seems to be echoing through many’s hearts today.  I believe is we can move forward if we continue to invest our emotions and energy into shaping America into the place we want to live.  I won’t be easy, but the best things rarely are.

We All Have Flaws.

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One thing I have worked hard to learn- and then regularly remind myself – is that perfect doesn’t exist. It’s really easy to see the flaws in things. This situation is teeming with flaws.  However, the flaws are ALWAYS less than the good.  We are simply trained to see what something can’t be versus what it can become. I believe one statement: people are mostly made of good. And we all have terrible ways of acting out on our own self  interests, but at our core rarely are our intentions solely malicious. I am reminding myself of this today.

Self Love Through A Change in Perspective.plus-size-fashion-blog-how-to-wear-a-patterned-coat-4

This oddly dove tails into one of the main ways I have found to improve my self perception.  We choose to see the broken bits. We choose to the focus on the ways we are incapable, mediocre,and flawed. But there are so many many ways we are beautiful, impactful, and needed. To truly love ourselves, grow our confidence, and push away doubt- we must focus on our potential instead of our roadblocks. We have to choose to change our perspective and focus on just how powerful and meaningful we can become.plus-size-fashion-blog-how-to-wear-a-patterned-coat-5

For example, I could see myself as loud, over the top, emotional and dramatic.  Focus on how I’ve never been thin, have a hunchback, and patches of dry skin.  Invest my energy in analyzing how I exaggerate,  forget things, and  sometimes I drowned myself in my work so I don’t realize that I am lonely.

Or I could see myself as a brilliant creative thinker, who works hard, and never gives up. I could remember that give nearly everything I have to others, because  as long as I am not in need and I have more to give. I can see the way I always find a way to make people lough, smile at strangers, and regularly help others find direction in their careers. I can reflect how I have an uncanny knack to make others feel comfortable, even when I myself might feel out of place.

A Very Personal Example

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Everyday I am presented with a wide array of opportunities to see my flaws or see my potential. For example, yesterday I felt disconnected from something and I started to question whether this was a result of me not being good enough. But as soon as I realized this, I committed to re-framing my perspective. Instead of thinking about what was wrong with me and having a mini pity party, I sucked it up and began to think about what I cold do to feel more plugged in. I focused on my potential to turn the situation around, which led to me making a few small tweaks. My day and feelings lightend. The choice was mine. I don’t always make the right choice, but the focus on constantly analyzing how I can see my potential has led to a significant increase in appreciation for myself. It’s help me battle demons. It’s helped me to shift the assessment of my value from external analysis to one of self awareness and love. I value and love myself because I am aware of what I capable of- now and in the future.plus-size-fashion-blog-how-to-wear-a-patterned-coat-6So today when everything seems less then ideal. When the world seems broken. When you feel bruised. Don’t Panic. Instead of putting energy into the loss, but your heart into the change. What needs to happen, so that this doesn’t happen again.  How can your voice help educate and shape the way citizens see each other? How can protect those who now feel unsupported and unsafe? Now that people are angry and passionate, this is the exact time to focus that energy into the change. We can’t change the past, but we can shape the future.  That’s what’s on my mind today.

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10 Things Traveling Taught me about Self Love

10 Things Traveling Taught me about Self Love

One of my favorite hobbies is traveling. By the age of 30, I had gone to over 35 countries, nearly every continent, and had to have pages added to my passport- twice. While I am hardly a travel blogger, my frequent adventures have taught me a few things about to see the world fearlessly and loving myself more.

1. Know your limits, and push them. What I learned about traveling early on is the best adventures are hard.  They involve a little struggle. Don’t be afraid to be uncomfortable. Do something that terrifies you. Sure, you might fail. You also might succeed.  Push your boundaries, just a little bit, and you’ll open yourself to a whole new world of possibilities.
Arches

2. Focus on enjoying life more, and how your body looks less. It’s amazing how many opportunities I missed early in life because I was afraid of how people would perceive my body. Traveling has taught me that beauty is completely malleable. There is no universal standard. So I accepted that some people would always find me beautiful, some would always find me ugly and all that mattered if how I saw myself.

Bermuda

3. The best adventures are off the beaten path. We are taught from youth to follow the path, to do the ordinary, to behave. Travel has taught me that the most exciting adventures, stories and learning doesn’t come from the average day to day. So be weird, do things differently, get off the path. You’ll never know what your missing as a result of habit.

Costa Rica

4. Talk to strangers. Actually talk to everyone. One of my favorite memories is how I met these amazing men in Mykonos, Greece. I literally jumped on a bar at gay club and shamed the crowd for not dancing to Madonna. I then proceeded to show them how it was done.  As a result I ended up with 3 amazing travel buddies for the rest of my trip, and no one shamed Madonna again.

Greece

5. Friends are important. Taking the leap to do something can be scary, you don’t have to do it alone. Having someone their to support you through the scary and shitty times, matters. This was a hard, but very important lesson for me,  an ” I can do anything on my own” girl, to learn.

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6. It ok to be basic. Somethings are just fun. Don’t shy away from something because everyone else has done it. For example, I went on a Guinness tour in Dublin, Ireland like every other tourist. Did the fact that tons of people had done it before make it any less fun. Nope. It was still great and ended the way I like most things to end- with free beer.

Ireland

7. Support your local community. Sight seeing is fun, but my best memories are when I have wandered into a local neighborhood and explored how the people actually lived. For example, playing fetch with this dog in a London park. What makes people who they are isn’t their museums or their monuments, but rather culture and perspective in life. As a global citizen it’s important we take an active role in the community that surrounds us and change it for the better.  If we don’t get involved, we cannot be angry when perceptions refuse to evolve.

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8. Be yourself. Its amazing how many new people you meet and adventures you have when you don’t try to change who you are. I will always be loud and sassy and,  dare I say it, a bit weird. I wore this Mexican wrestling mask all around Miami, creating some awesome experiences while being my weird goofy self.  People think you need to be someone else to impress the world, nope. The people we admire most, usually got their by being true to who they are and refusing to let anyone steal their shine.

Miami

9. Approach everything with a smile. The more you greet new experiences with a positive attitude, the more fun those experiences are going to be. Even if they don’t work out as planned.   Pushing yourself to try new things with a positive attitude pays off.  Nobody likes a Debbie Downer, nobody. Plus smiles have a magical power to melt perceptions. I have personally experienced several times in my life where I have been able to change someone’s view of plus size people by being a positive force in their lives.

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10. It’s ok to be a tourist. Sometimes in life you just want to try something new and not feel like you have to commit to it for life. Just as you are a tourist on vacation, you can be a tourist in life. You don’t have to commit to a change before you are ready and know its a fit for your life. It’s 100% ok to try something out for awhile, knowing full well you might abandon it later.

Turkey

#ProjectPossible

I am so so so excited to kick off the first day of my first Instagram challenge!  It isn’t a yoga challenge. This isn’t a fashion challenge. It’s a life challenge! The idea is simple. Take something something that scares you, pushes you, challenges you, makes you uncomfortable or might even seem impossible… and give it a try.  Wear that crop top. Try that head stand. Talk to your manager about that raise you deserve. Stop lying to the food delivery guy, there is no roommate.

And don’t just do it. Do it with gusto. Do it with sass. Do it because none of us should wait to live. It’s time to make the impossible, possible.

One thing I’ve learned over my journey is that the first step is ALWAYS the hardest. We want to encourage you to take that step with some extra sassy motivation and prizes. Because every body loves presents. EVERYBODY.

We have some super rad sponsors:

So how do you enter?

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You don’t have to post everyday for a chance to win, just at least once during the challenge period – August 15-31. Each new challenge you take on is a new entry. Simples!