by Glitter | Jan 13, 2018 | Inspiration
Yesterday was, for lack of a better way to describe it, disappointing. I wore an outfit I loved and some people just weren’t into it. That’s ok- I do not expect people to love every outfit I wear. It comes with the territory. What wasn’t ok was the discussion that began about what was or wasn’t flattering for my body and how I should have posed differently to look better in the clothing.
First off, not all clothing I love to wear perfectly accentuates my curves. I don’t always want to be in a bodycon. Somedays I want to be warm or comfortable or just plain lazy. Some things I love to wear don’t make my body look more aesthetically pleasing. Those days and things are just as important and worthy to be seen as the perfect days.
Flattering is a Loaded Word
I’ve always wrestled with the word flattering, because of the context it is usually used in. According to the Cambridge dictionary flattering means to “making someone look or feel better or more attractive than usual.” To say something flatters someone is a shallow compliment, which assumes that the wearer is simply wearing something to look better. Additionally, as attractiveness is highly subjective, one person’s flattering is another person’s “oh hell no.” Plus, flattering often seems to be delivered dripping wet in the stereotypes places on idealized female bodies.
It’s as if flattering is used, in most cases, to deliver the subtext “your body isn’t ideal, but this dress makes it look better than it usually does.” How is that a compliment? And if you do think I look abnormally beautiful- why not just say that? Why use a word so loaded as “flattering’?
In a similar vein of thought, the word “unflattering” delivers the commentary that the individual is wearing something that makes them “less than”. Now there are situations where it’s appropriate to use this word- especially when a person asks you directly. However, most cases it is completely inappropriate to discuss. You’re literally telling a person “you look worse today then you usually do.” Instead just say something isn’t your cup of tea or -even better- say nothing at all. How someone else’s body looks is really none of your business anyways.
Tunic Sweater is from Yours clothing, paired with leggings from Maurices, boots from Evans, a vintage scarf and a hat from Goorin Brothers. On some links I earn affiliate commissions.
by Glitter | Jul 7, 2017 | Inspiration
Recently I’ve seen a lot a of discussion about what is and is not “body positive.” I’ve done a lot of research and it seems there are a lot of articles pointing out what is and is not body positive, but very few attempting to explain the movement, why it’s important and what being body positive means. In order to help facilitate debate, educate the masses and also kind of sort out my own thoughts on the subject, I thought I’d take my own stab at it. This is 100% world according to Glitter and if you disagree, let’s talk about it. Because it’s through discussion, movements get solidified and organized.
What is Body Positivity?
For me body positivity is the belief that every individual has the right to exist, in whatever body they have today, tomorrow and in the future without pressure to attain an “acceptable body” or rejection from society if they don’t. In this perspective regardless of race, gender, size, disabilities, health, hair growth and whatever other variant you throw into the mix, a person’s worth and dignity is equal. They deserve the same rights. The same opportunities. The same access to knowledge and experiences. They also deserve the same representation in media and leadership.
What About Self Love?
You’ll note in my definition there is nothing about self-love, because to me body positivity has nothing to do with how much you love your body. Often times people use the phrase “I’m body positive” in exchange for ” I love myself”. But loving your body- even if it isn’t the societal norm- isn’t what body positivity is about. Your own self-love does nothing to increase the access to basic rights for people with marginalized bodies. Sure, the body positivity movement might have helped you find self-love, but they aren’t the same thing.
An important point to also acknowledge is that we often learn to love ourselves, but do not learn to accept and appreciate others. If you love yourself and judge someone else’s body, that is counter to the culture body positivity is trying to create. In line with this thinking, if you try to create any type of boundaries on which bodies deserve respect (the classic, ” I’m all for body positivity, but…” phrasing) you are actually hurting someone’s ability to exist freely in their body. In this regard, it’s totally possible to have self-love and not be body positive. They are decidedly different things.
What is Diet Culture?
Right now, there is a huge effort to re-purpose the political side of body positivity and use it sell things, primarily to women. You’ll often see body positive bloggers talk about “diet culture” or the idea that people are taught they need to constantly be trying to achieve the idealized body type. Now if you choose to go on a diet based on your own goals and ambitions or health- that has nothing to do with body positivity. It simply means you’ve made a decision to change your body and that’s really no one else’s business. However, if you write a post about how to lose “13 pound in 30 days” to be your “sexiest self” that is anti- body positive. Why? Because you’ve associated a change in your body (losing 13 pounds) with having a body this more accepted by the community (sexiest self).
Why is Representation Important?
Seeing different bodies and elevating images of different bodies is important because it creates a new norm. There was an experiment on racism- If you held up a flat picture of an unknown black man in front of a white person, the sections of his brain committed to anger and fear would fire. However, if you normalized the black man by giving him thoughts and feelings or showing him performing an everyday activity, the white brain would then show significantly less firing in these regions and expanded action in parts of the brain used for comprehension and compassion. The study found that one of the ways to decrease racism to was to integrate and educate different races about each other. Ignorance and avoidance were keys reasons for unnecessary anger.
Representation in the body positive movement is needed in the same way. If we can show all sorts of bodies doing all sorts of things to the world, the more comfortable and less fearful the general public will become of them. The opposite is also true, the less we see different body types, the scarier they become.
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by Glitter | May 24, 2016 | Fashion, OOTD
I first met Claire, owner of the plus size indie brand Copper Union, over Instagram. Since our initial magical discussion I swore we were kindred spirits. Even more bizarre- her best friend from college works at my office. Like a real, not interwebs, life connection. It’s a sign from the universe! Interstellar signs people! Sparkles. Space Magic. Booming voice of omni-powerful being. One cannot ignore them. 
So Claire sent me a few pieces to try out. Naturally I loved them, but I felt getting clothes from a kindred spirit and just writing a blog is keeping things a bit too close to the chest. If we really are Anne of Green Gables bosom buddies, we should try to change the world together. Because, that’s just what you do. Girl power and all that stuff.
When Claire and I started scheming it was clear we were on the same page. Let’s do something fun to make people happier. And thus the concept of #CopperGlitter was born. A giveaway, where everyone wins a little bit by participating, and one lucky unicorn/ feminine warrior/ human who appreciates pretty things will have a little extra fashion magic added to their life.
So what’s this #CopperGlitter thing all about? We want to know what makes you body positive. What do you love about yourself, how do you celebrate your amazing body everyday? Claire and I use clothing to highlight not hide our bodies. We want to encourage you to do the same. Tell us why you love your curves, your lumps and bumps, your ‘imperfections’!
How to Enter:
1. Share a photo on Instagram and tell us why you, love you.
2. Follow and tag @glitterandlazers and @copperunion
3. Use the hashtag #copperglitter
We will pick a winner on June 1. You will receive an awesome Stevie Shrug from Copper Union + a special super custom surprise from moi. We can’t wait to see your body love! Good luck!
If you’re curious what a Stevie Shrug looks like, just look up. This is the Copper Union Black & White Geo Stevie Shrug paired with Nika Pencil Skirt (you can’t tell from the photo but it has this cool baroque-ish pattern detail that I am obsessed with). I paired these amazing Copper Union pieces with a few oldie but goodie items I just love. A pair of lace up marble faux snake skin shoes from ASOS, a forever 21 tribal bodycon crop top, and few necklaces I picked up on clearance from Charming Charlie really bring this look to life. The top necklace is another amazing one of Claire’s Copper Union designs that unfortunately is no longer available.
by Glitter | Apr 18, 2016 | Inspiration, Life, Travel
One of my favorite hobbies is traveling. By the age of 30, I had gone to over 35 countries, nearly every continent, and had to have pages added to my passport- twice. While I am hardly a travel blogger, my frequent adventures have taught me a few things about to see the world fearlessly and loving myself more.
1. Know your limits, and push them. What I learned about traveling early on is the best adventures are hard. They involve a little struggle. Don’t be afraid to be uncomfortable. Do something that terrifies you. Sure, you might fail. You also might succeed. Push your boundaries, just a little bit, and you’ll open yourself to a whole new world of possibilities.
2. Focus on enjoying life more, and how your body looks less. It’s amazing how many opportunities I missed early in life because I was afraid of how people would perceive my body. Traveling has taught me that beauty is completely malleable. There is no universal standard. So I accepted that some people would always find me beautiful, some would always find me ugly and all that mattered if how I saw myself.
3. The best adventures are off the beaten path. We are taught from youth to follow the path, to do the ordinary, to behave. Travel has taught me that the most exciting adventures, stories and learning doesn’t come from the average day to day. So be weird, do things differently, get off the path. You’ll never know what your missing as a result of habit.
4. Talk to strangers. Actually talk to everyone. One of my favorite memories is how I met these amazing men in Mykonos, Greece. I literally jumped on a bar at gay club and shamed the crowd for not dancing to Madonna. I then proceeded to show them how it was done. As a result I ended up with 3 amazing travel buddies for the rest of my trip, and no one shamed Madonna again.
5. Friends are important. Taking the leap to do something can be scary, you don’t have to do it alone. Having someone their to support you through the scary and shitty times, matters. This was a hard, but very important lesson for me, an ” I can do anything on my own” girl, to learn.
6. It ok to be basic. Somethings are just fun. Don’t shy away from something because everyone else has done it. For example, I went on a Guinness tour in Dublin, Ireland like every other tourist. Did the fact that tons of people had done it before make it any less fun. Nope. It was still great and ended the way I like most things to end- with free beer.
7. Support your local community. Sight seeing is fun, but my best memories are when I have wandered into a local neighborhood and explored how the people actually lived. For example, playing fetch with this dog in a London park. What makes people who they are isn’t their museums or their monuments, but rather culture and perspective in life. As a global citizen it’s important we take an active role in the community that surrounds us and change it for the better. If we don’t get involved, we cannot be angry when perceptions refuse to evolve.
8. Be yourself. Its amazing how many new people you meet and adventures you have when you don’t try to change who you are. I will always be loud and sassy and, dare I say it, a bit weird. I wore this Mexican wrestling mask all around Miami, creating some awesome experiences while being my weird goofy self. People think you need to be someone else to impress the world, nope. The people we admire most, usually got their by being true to who they are and refusing to let anyone steal their shine.
9. Approach everything with a smile. The more you greet new experiences with a positive attitude, the more fun those experiences are going to be. Even if they don’t work out as planned. Pushing yourself to try new things with a positive attitude pays off. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer, nobody. Plus smiles have a magical power to melt perceptions. I have personally experienced several times in my life where I have been able to change someone’s view of plus size people by being a positive force in their lives.
10. It’s ok to be a tourist. Sometimes in life you just want to try something new and not feel like you have to commit to it for life. Just as you are a tourist on vacation, you can be a tourist in life. You don’t have to commit to a change before you are ready and know its a fit for your life. It’s 100% ok to try something out for awhile, knowing full well you might abandon it later.
